“Sorry.”, I said as my foot slipped
off the pedal during a small hill climb. And again as I slowed to a
halt on a switchback corner, “Sorry”. If you have ever been
behind me on a group ride, chances are you've heard me say this word
many times. I say it instinctively, as if to shield myself from
criticism or condemnation, to ward off the attack that never comes.
Newsflash: the person riding behind you probably doesn't care that
you currently suck at climbing/descending/cornering. My husband,
Jason, used to ride behind me on climbs; listening to my constant
apologies really bothered him. Not because I was slow or had to stop
a few times, but because I felt the need to keep telling him I was
sorry. I believe, “Dude, I don't care.” was his exact sentiment.
Now, he goes ahead on the climbs to avoid my self-defeating hill
climb monologues. I still lead on the descents, which are my
strength, but my mind is fixated on those sections of trail where I
come undone. I'm tired of sucking at climbing, and also tired of
invariably announcing it.
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| Target Acquired |
So, I've decided to take action; I am
on a mission to turn myself into a great climber. The first step was
figuring out why I hate climbing so much. The answer - because
I suck at it. Why is that? Because I avoid it at all costs, in my
head I have made hills out to be some unconquerable behemoth,
something to never face. The second step – removing my clipless
pedals from my bike and switching back to flats. Don't worry, I'm not
moving over to the Flats or Die camp (yet), but clipless pedals were
not helping me learn to climb. Any time I would slow down or approach
a technical section, my right foot would unclip and be on the ground
without me even realizing it – another bad habit. Going back to
flat pedals is like learning to mountain bike all over again, the
right way, relying on body position and smooth pedal stroke.
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| Taking a Break and Enjoying the View |
Step 3 – hill repeats, several times
per week at a small park. The hills are short and rocky and perfect
for a short training session after work. If my foot hits the ground
during a climb, I start all over again at the bottom. While
challenging, and often frustrating, this has actually started to be
fun. One day, I realized at the end of an hour and a half of riding
that my bank card fell out of my pack somewhere on the trails. I
retraced my entire ride trying to find it, and I made it up every
climb on the first try. I thought, “Why can't I ride like this all
of the time?”. It turns out, I can. I just have to focus on the
crest of the climb, and not all of the rocks, which are just
distractions along the way. So, what am I so sorry for? Sorry for
showing up, trying my hardest, testing my limits, or facing my fears?
These are not things to be sorry for; these are things to be
celebrated.
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| Yes, this is me smiling AFTER a climb! |
