Saturday, July 11, 2015

Deer Ramblings

Jason and I went camping at a yurt in Flagstaff this week. Here's a snapshot of my thoughts as I ran into a deer on the trail...
Our humble yurt at the Flagstaff Nordic Center
I can't believe how beautiful it is outsi – oh, shit! That's a deer! Like in the trail, looking at me and way fucking bigger than I imagined, deer. Or is it a moose? Wait, no. I'm from NH – why am I suddenly unable to tell the difference between a moose and a deer? Definitely a deer. He looks pissed, or maybe he just takes his morning walks very seriously and I just fucked it all up for him. Do I turn around? Or is that rude – I don't want the deer to think I am avoiding him, but I also don't want to be trampled to death. Do they even trample? Should I climb one of these trees? What? No. I haven't climbed a tree since I was 10 – so no, I should not climb one of these trees. Those antlers are freaking me out and I'm pretty sure he knows it. I can see the headline now - “Vegan Mountain Biker Gored by a Stern Deer”. How ironic. Or maybe it's a she? No, a female deer probably would have ran. Not that I think women can't hold their own, alright now I'm really an asshole. Maybe if there was another deer here for comparison...

One of the super flowy trails in the Coconino National Forest
I'll just turn around and pick another trail. What if he follows me? No, his legs are so long. It would be a very leisurely pace for him, and without small talk he'd probably get bored. Can I look back? Or will that be seen as an invitation to hang out or fight over something we both think we deserve – like the rights to ride on his turf. No, don't look back. What was that noise – perhaps an oncoming ambush? No, I just ran over a pile of wood chips. Okay – what was THAT noise? More wood chips. What is with all of fucking wood chips?

I can't wait to tell Jason about this encounter once I get back to the yurt. How should I word it – maybe, “I saw a beautiful, serene deer basking in the sunlight in the forest”. Nah, he'll know it's bullshit.

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